HomeDEBRETT’S LIFESTYLE BLOGDiary of a Bride-to-Be Week 9: The Lull

Diary of a Bride-to-Be Week 9: The Lull

With 20 weeks to plan a wedding, I didn’t anticipate that we’d encounter a lull in proceedings at any point, but so it has proven this week. We need RSVPs before we can finalise numbers for things like the menu, seating plan and transport. And we need to send out the invitations before we can start to receive RSVPs. Those invitations are currently wending their agonising way by courier from south London to north. Never have I more keenly anticipated a stationery delivery.

Apparently The Lull is not uncommon, however, once the big and time-sensitive tasks are out the way and it’s too early to start on the finer details. So while we wait, I’m kicking back with a cup of tea and my laptop to have a snoop at other people’s weddings (a distressingly absorbing new hobby of mine).

Apparently, trends have as much influence in the world of weddings as they do elsewhere, which makes sense: couples ‘borrow’ ideas from weddings they’ve attended, while the brave pioneers who first decide to use an owl as a ringbearer, for example, give others permission to do likewise. Here are some of the trends that have seem to have been most prominent in recent years:

Weekday weddings

Apparently almost half of all weddings (46%) now take place on a day other than Saturday, when venues and suppliers will often be less expensive and have more availability. We considered having ours on a Friday, but we know too many teachers for this to have been a popular option. I have, however, attended both a Friday wedding and a Sunday wedding (on a bank holiday weekend), and personally have no qualms about taking a day off work to party instead. Bring on the Tuesday morning marriage!

Unplugged ceremonies

Whereby you ask guests not to film or take photographs during your ceremony. Couples sometimes extend this rule to the whole day, the theory being that the photographer can do his or her job and the guests are more ‘present’, without feeling they have to capture every moment.

A ‘fund’ instead of a wedding list

With many couples now marrying later in life, and when they are probably already living together, it’s unlikely that they’ll be crying out for a four-slice toaster or a set of matching towels. Guests will still want to give you something, though, so what should you ask for? Many couples are asking for a contribution to the honeymoon or another fund instead, with gift list sites providing the platform to do so. What’s the etiquette of that? And is it ever OK to ask for cash?

Paid bars

65% of couples surveyed by Bridebook apparently ask guests to pay for at least some of their drinks at their wedding. It’s one way to save money (and might enable you to invite more people), but Debrett’s Wedding Handbook is fairly unequivocal on the subject:

There are two golden rules: ensure there is an adequate supply of alcohol and don’t ask guests to pay for their drinks during the main reception

The book does concede, however, that guests may be happy to pay for drinks later in the night if the wedding is taking place in a hotel or other catered venue. What do you think?

Days remaining: 94

Spend: As before

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