Our current circumstances are certainly challenging and it is very hard, and possibly somewhat irritating, to project a relentlessly positive and optimistic persona. It is much more natural to enjoy a good moan, but proceed with caution.

Moaning is inevitably a reaction to ephemeral difficulties, daily irritations and frustrations. It is perfectly natural to moan when you’re left hanging on a phone for hours waiting for a customer adviser, when the train is held up by signalling problems, when your car battery dies on you, or you’re stuck in the freezing cold waiting for your belated lift to turn up. But moaning is not an appropriate reaction when more important issues are at stake: a long queue outside the supermarket in this lockdown era is a sign that everybody’s safety is being taken seriously, and it would be churlish to complain because you, like everybody else, have to wait. In those circumstances, other people may find your moaning insensitive and unwarranted.

Many of us who feel frustrated or wearied by the dreariness of the current lockdown find a generalised whinge highly therapeutic. It feels good to hunker down with a friend and share your sense of disgruntlement. But the emphasis here is on sharing – a moaning monologue is a conversation-killer. All conversation is about talking and listening, so remember that other people also have lots to grumble about and will appreciate an attentive and engaged audience.

Be very careful about your chosen moaning partner. It’s fine to dissect your day-to-day grievances with someone who broadly shares your circumstances, but nobody who is experiencing real adversity will want to hear your litany of complaints. The problems of home-schooling a recalcitrant five-year-old, landing a supermarket delivery slot, or deciding whether it’s wise to book a summer holiday, will hardly seem significant to someone who is coping with job loss, illness or bereavement.

As always, good manners dictate that you are sensitive to those around you and perceptive about the impact you have on other people.  Moaning is highly enjoyable, but reserve it for minor impediments not major tragedies.

 

It’s late January, the weather is grim, the country is in lockdown.  Have you already stumbled at the first hurdle? Have your New Year’s resolutions already disintegrated?  Perhaps you vowed to maintain a dry January, but you’ve already had recourse to the red wine.  Or maybe your plan to compensate for closed gyms with a vigorous daily jog have ended in inertia and sofa-bound self-reproach?

Maybe you’re not the problem and it’s the ritual that needs reviewing.  We understand the ‘new year, new start’ symbolism of the annual resolution, but is January – surely one of the most depressing months of the year – the best time to embark on a journey of arduous self-improvement?

Maybe one thing that lockdown has taught us is that human beings are highly adaptable, able to accommodate all kinds of strange new customs, from social distancing to mask wearing, when we can understand that it is imperative to do so. We should therefore be able to set ourselves goals and targets when it is best to do so, and when the circumstances of our lives will support, rather than undermine, our efforts.

It is important to be attuned to the activities that are making us miserable. If your default lockdown activity is binge-watching box sets and it makes you feel guilty and worthless, then it might be time to make a resolution to spend at least a couple of evenings a week enjoying something else, for example a Zoom meeting with friends or a good book.

As with all resolutions and targets, it is best to set yourself goals that are attainable, so that you will have the pleasure of achieving them. If your targets are modest you can always upgrade them and set yourself goals that are slightly more difficult to achieve. The important thing is to be flexible and self-aware.

New Year’s resolutions are a social pitfall.  People will ask if you’ve made any, or you may find yourself telling people about your projected programme of self-improvement, which can easily turn into virtue-signalling; your resolutions may well make other people feel bad about their own lack of discipline and resolve. When you fail to achieve your stated objectives you will find yourself having to explain to friends and family and that’s just embarrassing.

 

The prime function of this time-honoured celebration of gastronomy and poetry is to pay tribute to the Scottish national poet, Robbie Burns (1759–96). It was first held on 25 January 1801, on Robbie Burns’s birthday.

A lockdown Burns Night, conducted on Zoom or similar, certainly presents challenges, but it also gives every guest the opportunity to contribute, rather than passively observe. Always, the onus falls on the ‘chairman’, who will have to make every effort beforehand to ensure that the event runs smoothly.

He or she will have to send out invitations, and also a detailed running order for the gathering, with specific roles and contributions assigned to each guest. Bear in mind that a video call can be an intense experience, so it is probably a good idea to set strict time limits on every contribution.

A virtual experience will certainly take the focus off the gastronomic element of the evening, though enthusiastic consumption of Scotch whisky is de rigueur. It will be up to each guest how strictly they observe time-honoured culinary traditions – such as cock-a-leekie soup and haggis, neeps and tatties. However, it is essential that the chairman follows gastronomic protocols.

Wear at least a bit of tartan – a hat, a tie, a scarf, or even a full kilt (though you’ll have to stand up to model it!)

Above all, relax and enjoy a convivial evening, which celebrates the spirit of the Bard and good fellowship. It will be a fitting antidote to lockdown blues.

Burns Night Itinerary

Gathering

All join the call, have a quick catch-up, admire each other’s tartan and raise a glass.

The Selkirk Grace

The host/chairman offers an opening grace. Ideally at this point the participants will enjoy their soup; we recommend Cock-a-leekie, a delicious broth of poached chicken, leeks and prunes:

Some hae meat and canna eat,

And some wad eat that want it;

But we hae meat, and we can eat,

And sae the Lord be thankit.

Parade of the Haggis

Traditionally the haggis is piped in on a silver platter, accompanied by the chef.  On this occasion the chairman may play some appropriate music to announce the commencement of the main course, but not before the…

Address to a Haggis

A designated addresser should now embark on a spirited rendition of Burns’s poem ‘Address to a Haggis’ (or an edited version of it) before the chairman slices his haggis open.

The Toast

A simple toast to ‘The Haggis’, with raised glasses, and the meal is ready to begin.

Immortal Memory

It is now time for a designated speaker to deliver the Immortal Memory address, which outlines the story of Robert Burns and looks his work, ideally highlighting aspects that are relevant to the assembled participants. A further toast to the ‘immortal memory of the Bard of Ayr’ finished this part of the evening.

The Entertainment

Songs, music and readings should now follow and participants should read works of their own choosing – they do not have to be exclusively by Burns, they may be works of other Scottish poets or stories and anecdotes about his life. During this phase of the evening guests can eat pudding (perhaps a Tipsy Laird, which is a Scottish sherry trifle), or enjoy cheese with bannocks (oatcakes) and yet more whisky. This is the point when, particularly on Zoom, the chairman must assert his authority, ensuring that every speaker is given his/her allocated slot, and is not interrupted when speaking

Toast to the Lassies

This is a light-hearted tribute to the ladies, which pokes affectionate fun at their various foibles and eccentricities, while making occasional reference to the work of Robbie Burns. It should end on a conciliatory note with a toast ‘to the lassies’.

Reply from the Lassies

This should be a witty rejoinder, which decries the men’s social inferiority and lack of refinement. Reference should be made to the Bard, perhaps a wry comparison with the men of the day. It should end on a complimentary note.

Closing Remarks

The Chairman thanks the guests for their attendance and good company, and now is a suitable time for a designated guest to voice general thanks for the Chairman’s efforts, proposing a final toast to the Chairman.

Auld Lang Syne

Before finally switching off for the night a rousing rendition of this sentimental Scottish song will cause general hilarity, especially if plenty of whisky has been consumed (make sure that all the guests have been circulated with the words, which no one can actually remember!).

Are January blues stealing your productivity and focus? In years gone by we might have explored how January blues are almost entirely psychological, with the post-Christmas comedown, shorter days and colder/wetter weather being contributing factors. However, in January 2021 it’s safe to say that, between juggling working from home, childcare, Covid-19 and lockdown, we all have plenty on our plates and motivation is lacking. We’ve jotted down some quick tips to boost productivity for the rest of the month and beyond.

Set yourself bite-size, achievable tasks

A massive killer of motivation is lack of success. If you set yourself a mammoth task then you’ll ultimately end up working for a long period of time with little reward. But if you break up the task, and set yourself smaller goals within the larger task, you’ll find that you’re constantly achieving, and this will massively aid motivation and keep you on track.

Celebrate the wins, no matter how small

In an office environment it’s extremely rare not to share success stories. This doesn’t necessarily mean ringing a bell or fist-pumping your way to the coffee machine, but often simply telling your desk neighbour and enjoying the ‘well done’ that you get in return. This is fantastic for work morale, so why should it change at home? While we wouldn’t advise calling you former desk neighbour, who is also working from home, to tell them the news, take a celebratory 5-minute break, tell your partner, tell your children, or tell your dog. It sounds a little silly, but sharing successes reaffirms your role and allows you to avoid the monotony of completing task after task with no positive feedback or reward.

Give Zoom a break

When the pandemic first struck businesses quickly migrated to video conference. Whilst not as good as actual face to face communication it was an easy way of connecting lots of people at one time. However, it’s safe to say that the (fleeting) novelty has now worn off. Nowadays Zoom can be stressful for some with the requirement to keep dogs, children and spouses in check and a whole day on Zoom can be exhausting and not hugely productive. Phone calls are less demanding and emails better still. Why not mix it up and save the Zoom call for when it’s really needed?

Set yourself a finishing time

A Bloomberg study found that the pandemic work day is on average 47 minutes longer than previously. Although it’s easy to briefly log back on whilst dinner is in the oven or the bath is running, this sends you hurtling towards a burnout and the feeling that work is taking over your life with seemingly no escape. Some industries require employees to be on call at all hours, but for those that don’t, be disciplined with yourself. Keep the laptop closed and turn off notifications to ensure that your downtime stays sacred.

Focus on yourself

When working from home it’s easy to convince yourself that you’re working much harder than your colleagues. You noticed that Bernard didn’t reply to your 9am email until 11am, which naturally means he had a lie in and didn’t log on until mid-morning! Often this is totally incorrect, but as we’re working in our own little bubbles, we can easily find ourselves getting slightly frustrated with colleagues who appear not to be pulling their weight. Our advice: don’t worry about it. Although easier said than done, focussing on yourself and ensuring that you’re performing to the best of your ability will not only aid productivity, but will free up the fraction of mental bandwidth that was previously used for being annoyed for more productive purposes.

Now we know what you’re thinking; late for what exactly? But in the current lockdown it is more important than ever not to let your standards slip. This applies particularly to punctuality.

With oceans of stay-at-home time ahead of us and normal working patterns suspended for many, it’s easy to conclude timing isn’t really a priority. But failing to be punctual is the height of bad manners because it disregards the value of other people’s time.

Now, more than ever, you should demonstrate that you value other people’s lockdown time by always fulfilling promises and being ready promptly for pre-arranged Zoom chats, FaceTime or simply telephone calls. You will come across as someone who cares about other people and is efficient, organised and reliable. If unforeseen circumstances intervene and you are delayed, send a quick text and apology, which demonstrates that you have not forgotten. Always remember that your promised contact might be a lifeline, or at the very least a major highlight, for someone who is struggling with lockdown blues or loneliness. And you will benefit too, as adhering meticulously to social commitments will give some shape and structure to our increasingly formless days.

Whether it’s a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates or a pair of cufflinks, re-gifting is the art of passing on a present that was originally given to you by someone else. In a world of waste and excess, there is a legitimate argument for recycling in this way. How much better to give that sequinned sweater to a flamboyant friend than to leave it languishing unworn at the back of your wardrobe?

The theory has logic, but the practice has to be watertight. No one must ever know: not the original giver nor the next-in-line receiver. Ensure that the receiver is at least six degrees separated from the giver, and that the ‘re-gift’ is shop-fresh and unmarked.

Check the present has not been personalised in any way by the original giver – it’s hard to recover if your recipient discovers your initials monogrammed in the corner of that silk scarf you’ve just given them. Finally, be careful not to boast – never tell anyone about your talent for re-gifting. They’ll never give you anything and will be forever suspicious about their own presents from you. And don’t present the re-gift with too much flourish, just in case. Recycling and economising are all very well, but deep down, you know that what you are doing is … cheap.

 

Taking the time to write when you have received a present, hospitality or some other kindness, reassures the giver that their efforts are appreciated. A handwritten letter or card is preferable to an email or text message, but digital thanks are better than none. Christmas is an occasion when you are likely to receive a number of presents, so, make a note of who gave what and try to commit it to memory. Parents should write thank you letters on behalf of their children until the children are old enough to do so, when they should be encouraged to write themselves. Letters or cards should be sent as promptly as possible, but when it comes to saying thank you, late is invariably better than never.

With regard to structure, we have found that a five-step approach should cover all bases. Start with a general thanks, before moving on to a more specific thanks (explaining why the present was a good choice), news or general chat (often simply summarising your Christmas Day), further news (a brief update on work, university, or school perhaps), before repeating the thanks and signing off.

Penhaligon’s is a British heritage brand with a history dating back to 1870; it has Royal Warrants from both the Duke of Edinburgh (1956) and Prince of Wales (1988) and is a proud supplier of bespoke fragrances to the royal family. For 150 years Penhaligon’s has been an innovative creator of fragrances, firmly believing in the extraordinary power of perfume to boost confidence, project personality and enhance mood.

When is it appropriate to give a fragrance? Everyone has unique tastes and preferences and it may seem presumptuous to choose a new fragrance for someone else. Penhaligon’s has solved this problem by introducing two virtual services, ideal for social distancing: a digital profiling questionnaire or a video fragrance consultation. Either of these services will send your loved one on a personal journey of discovery.

So what are Penhaligon's top tips?

• Play safe

For recipients where you’re not sure what to buy, bath and body product, or soap, is always a good option. The classic choice is Blenheim bouquet, commissioned by the 9th Duke of Marlborough; Quercus is fresh and woody; Halfeti makes a bolder statement.

• Test it out

If you’re uncertain about making a choice for people you’re close to. try giving a Scent Library (an inspiring selection of ten fragrances), or give your recipient the chance to sample an inviting range of five fragrances with a Mini Him/Mini Her gift set.

• Take the plunge

Try the Penhaligon’s Digital Fragrance Profiler. If you’re buying for another person you will need to feel confident that you know their tastes (in fabrics, drinks, holiday locations as well as fragrances) very well indeed. You’ll be given a headline choice, as well as a selection of three further fragrances, and you can order samples, with promises of more substantial goodies down the line.

• Give the gift of choice

For an individual and nuanced approach to fragrance, purchase a gift voucher for a Video Fragrance Consultation appointment online (the cost of £15 is redeemable against the product). Your recipient fills in a fragrance questionnaire and waits to receive five targeted samples. At the ensuing virtual appointment a fragrance expert will talk them through the selection while they make their choice.

Good luck and happy gifting!

Aptly named the ‘silly season’, the run-up to Christmas is usually the time when businesses throw caution to the wind on the hosting front. Strengthening relationships and having fun tend to come to the fore, while belt holes and expense slips are January’s problem.

That said, 2020 hasn’t been a normal year, and as a result this year’s ‘silly season’ is likely to be much more subdued. So how can you continue to build rapport and have a few laughs with your valued clients in the time of scotch eggs and face masks? We spoke with some of our clients to see how they’re navigating the Covid/networking/Christmas minefield and looked at their favourite alternatives.

A 1:1 drink:

This was a laughable concept in 2019 when the festive merriment of Leadenhall Market could probably be heard from London Bridge, but with tier rules in place and the City much quieter than in previous years, an outdoor beer (or two, with a substantial meal) is one of the best options. Certainly, drinking less and fewer distractions may put more pressure on conversation, but this could also be valuable facetime for rapport building. Arranging to meet somewhere convenient for both parties (not necessarily in the centre of town if working from home) helps to lower the formality and reduce the ‘corporate’ feel.

Gifting:

Another popular choice is to opt out of festive hosting altogether, and instead spend the money that you would have gladly lavished on drink on a thoughtful gift (regulations permitting). This completely avoids the post-invitation awkwardness that your client may feel about explicitly acknowledging that he/she doesn’t want to meet for a drink owing to Covid restrictions. Your gift – perhaps a Christmas hamper or selection of wine – will not just benefit the client, but can be enjoyed by their family as well. A friendly note about catching up for dinner in the New Year wouldn’t go amiss.

Zoom drinks:

To be avoided where possible. For internal teams, family and friends, Zoom drinks are still a good option for socialising at a distance (although a touch tiresome at this point). But for clients and external parties, the term ‘organised fun’ springs to mind, and it can be trickier than you might think to strike the correct tone. Instead, perhaps arrange a relaxed pre-Christmas Zoom catch-up where the agenda is brief and you’re able to discuss a little business before moving onto festive plans etc. Make arrangements for this call relaxed and informal, and don’t be offended if it is postponed in favour of more pressing business. If that does happen, pop something in the post and make a loose plan for 2021.

News that we can spend time with loved ones over Christmas will be welcome for many of us, but the social challenges of the past year might also make the prospect of hosting a festive gathering seem even more daunting than usual. From cooking fails to drunk guests, we've shared some common Christmas pitfalls – and how to avoid them.

4.) The underwhelming gift

6.) The forgotten present

A neighbour pops round with a thoughtful homemade present, but you've completely neglected to buy them anything in return. There's no point trying to improvise by grabbing a bottle of Prosecco from the rack – just apologise and buy them an extra nice post-Christmas present to make up for it. If it's a teenage niece or nephew who's been unintentionally overlooked, some cash hastily slipped into an envelope will usually compensate.