We already share a flat and have everything we need, and would like to ask for contributions towards our honeymoon rather than have a wedding list. Will people be offended by being asked for money? Emma, Exeter
As many couples have already set up home before they marry, the traditional wedding list often feels outdated. Asking for money or a contribution towards your honeymoon - sometimes called a 'honeypot' - is perfectly acceptable and many travel agents offer this facility. Remember, however, that you'll need to have sorted out your honeymoon when the invitations go out so that guests can see what they are contributing towards.
Related Debrett's Links: Honeymoon Gift Lists, Honeymoons

I've been invited to a wedding but can't go. Do I need to buy a wedding present? Sarah, Leeds
If the couple are good friends, then it is good form to buy them a wedding present, but do not need to be quite so generous as you might have been if you were going to the wedding.
Related Debrett's Links: Wedding Presents

My niece will shortly be getting married and I have been informed about her wedding list. I've had a look at the list online, but really can't find anything on it that I feel inspired to give her… Is it acceptable for me to make my own decision about the present?  If everyone else is buying off the list, will I look as if I'm making a big statement if I arrive at the wedding carrying a large package? Margaret, Tewkesbury
This is a frequent dilemma for wedding guests who feel that they want to give something more personal and of course you can choose something that isn't on the list. Most weddings will have an area or table for guests to leave presents and cards that are brought along on the day. If the package is very large, valuable or breakable, then you could consider delivering it the day after the wedding or arranging for it to be put in a special non-public place on the day.
Related Debrett's Links: Buying a Wedding Present

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