A good conversationalist strikes a perfect balance between talking and listening. By picking up threads as they go along they create a multi-layered conversation and a sense of intimacy - the other person feels sure that they are listening, and interested.

It is important to set the conversation off well. Try to think of an alternative to the usual 'how's work?' or 'how was your day?'.

Gentle humour, flattery and the occasional well-placed compliment all help achieve the goal of romantic success. If things run dry, plump for everyone's favourite topic - themselves. Ask predictable questions if necessary and remember that some gentle flirting always helps.

Ask questions, but don't conduct an interview - there is a fine line between interest and intrusion. Familiarity comes with time, so be aware of unspoken barriers. Avoid strong opinion or stark honesty; an occasional frisson is interesting, but controversial views may offend. Never talk about money, illness or death. Bluffers and serial liars always get their comeuppance; name-droppers and braggers bore everyone.

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