Miss Debrett on... The Man About Town
Women are easily charmed. All it takes
is a little attentiveness and focus on
detail. Pay attention, and watch out
for signs of irritability, fatigue or
boredom. If you detect any of the
symptoms, act swiftly: offer
a chair, a drink, a change of
scene; ask her what she
wants to do; concentrate
on her needs. Listen
carefully to what
she is saying, and
Be good-humoured about difficulties (queues, delays, inclement weather) and make her laugh. Keep conversation light and discreet, and don't boast. Your good manners will instantly put her at her ease, and she will find your charming.
Sleaziness should be avoided at all costs; once you are saddled with this label, you will never be rehabilitated. Avoid overt sexual innuendoes, double-entendres and leering. Don't tell risqué jokes (or not until you know her better). Never boast about sexual conquests, Herculean drinking bouts or partying prowess.
Maintain eye contact at all times, but avoid over-familiar
touching until you know her better - she will be hyper-wary of
lingering hands. Don't ever let her catch you eyeing up other
women; she will be sensitive to the tiniest flick of the eye in the
direction of the competition, and will find your disloyalty
You may want to impress her with your man-about-town credentials, confident that she will be seduced by your savoir-faire and worldly finesse. But be warned: if you get it even slightly wrong, you will look like a sad roué - lecherous, needy, debauched - and she will be making a rapid exit.
Miss Debrett's Top Tips
- Attention to detail is key. Make sure plans are well organised and that she is enjoying herself.
- Keep the tone upbeat and interesting. Humour and laughter are essential, as is good conversation.
- Avoid sexual innuendoes, double-entendres and bad jokes. Sleaziness is a fast-track to social - and sexual - failure.