Miss Debrett on... Becoming a Bride
The diamond is sparkling on your finger, the
date is set, and you are about - unless you're
very careful - to undergo the transition from
ordinary woman to bridal fury, an
obsessive monster with one thing on her
mind… the perfect wedding.
Be very afraid. Many a friendship
has foundered on the rocks in
the run-up to the wedding,
and potential in-laws may
well view your antics with dismay.
In the flurry of champagne moments and warm-hearted celebrations that follow the announcement of an engagement, it's all too easy to become convinced of your own importance. You may become strident in defence of your right to have a perfect wedding, and ruthless in your treatment of anyone who (according to you) stands in your way.
Take a step back, and breathe deeply. A wedding is a team effort, requiring vast reserves of tact and diplomacy. Parents must be placated, in-laws must feel included, friends must be consulted, and - above all - the groom must feel that it is also his big day. All too often the future groom feels that his stumbling proposal has unleashed a stampede of bossy women - from the bride herself and her mother to the florist, caterer and wedding planner - and all he can do is submit. It's not a good start to married life.
Miss Debrett's Top Tips
- Beware the danger of becoming a bridal fury, an obssessive monster with one thing on your mind - the perfect wedding.
- Don't let an over-inflated sense of self-importance cloud the champagne moments that follow the announcement of your engagement.
- Always remember that a wedding is a team effort, demanding vast reserves of tact and diplomacy.