Dating after Divorce

Couple dancing

Once you are sure that your new relationship has a future (repeated introductions of an ever-changing cast of 'new men' and 'new women' in your life can become embarrassing and futile), spread the news. If possible, tell important people face-to-face, or drop them a note or an email, explaining that you and your new partner are now an item.

Don't make assumptions and turn up, unannounced, at social occasions with a new man/woman on your arm. Don't leave people guessing, introducing new partners as 'friends', and behaving ambiguously around them. It's much better to be upfront, and clarify the nature of the relationship from the outset. You don't want to turn - yet again - into gossip fodder.

Be prepared for close scrutiny from those around you. Friends and family will feel very protective of you, and may be unusually suspicious of new lovers - especially if there is an alarming age discrepancy. It may feel oppressive, but they really do have your best interests at heart.

Don't lose your head over your new love. Your friends have seen you go through hell, and will be delighted that you have found someone with whom you can start again. But their pleasure will turn to embarrassment and dismay if you go into 'head over heels' mode. Remember, your friends have lived through your darkest, disillusioned days, so they'll find it very disorientating to be faced with two cooing love-birds. You're embarking on a second attempt at life-long connubial bliss, and people will get very nervous if they feel you haven't learnt anything (at the very least, caution) from your first, failed, marriage.

So keep your behaviour discreet and don't ricochet (publicly at least) from the depths of despair to ecstatic joy. In private, you may feel an absolute conviction that this new relationship is the one, but in public you should play the 'older and wiser' card.

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